Bloggers Lamar and Ronnie Tyler, of BlackAndMarriedWithKids.com, talk to Headline News about the book, “Is Marriage For White People?” by Ralph Richard Blanks. Is it time for Black women to give up the idea of marrying a Black man?
SMH@If Marriage Is Not For Black People… SMH
Wow, this is crazy
That's the craziest statement heading i've seen in a long time…heck white people divorce just as well as any other race…their not immune to being divorced!!
it's not about divorce. its about the fact that we aren't marrying. i live in minnesota and most of my friends are single black women. the quality of men for a black woman with a grad degree are slim to none as many black men aren't making the same grades in terms of getting an undergrad degree or even a hired based upon the degrees they have earned. it is a serious problem.
Plus, he just trying to sell books; trying to be controversial……..ignorant azz professor!!!Your own ppl…..SMH!!!
I don't care what these Uncle Tom, House Negroes say about finding someone outside my race I'm all about black men and imma get mine believe that.
you must not live in minnesota! i love black men too but the quality is very low.
the problem is we (black people) have taken this Playa thing too damn far. Brothers know nothing about truly holding down a black female and being committed to his woman and his family. Black men know they can make a baby with anyone and don't have to have any responsibility. These sistas will have anyone's baby with no commitment thus raising children without a father and then repeating this negative cycle all over again. The sad part is a black couple will get more negative feedback from the black community for not having kids than for not being married! We are twisted and going down a scary path. I can tell you 1st hand the lack of married couples weakens our community in so many ways it's not funny.
I totally agree with your first line.
I hate how it seems like some black Americans can't seem to grasp that white people ARE NOT the only other people in the world. Jeez, you'd think whites were some kind of gods the way some black people hold them up as the gold standard for how to live your life. It's absolutely strange. Just as an FYI, marriage is HUGE is almost all of Africa and the middle east. I'm from Iran and not white, and in Iran if you aren't planning on getting married, people think there's something wrong with you. Marriage is HUGE in Islam and marriage is almost everything in Iranian society. Why do you guys act like white people are the only ones getting married and like Asians and non-American blacks aren't doing it too? That's just absolutely crazy. Not to mention, look at the news anchor. What guy wouldn't want to marry an obviously intelligent and beautiful woman like that? Just because they are black? That's ridiculous. I'm engaged to a black man, and although I'm not black, he IS – and he WILL be marrying me, lol. Marriage is definitely for black men and women if they want it. Marriage is a world wide thing – everyone does it including many, many black women who are not American. The author has no idea what he's talking about. America is not the only country black women live in. He's a foolish person.
Nazzi- while I respect your comments I'm not sure you understand the question. Black marriage is in a serious decline here in America. Today there are very few weddings or justice of the peace marriages for that matter. Most black women are either alone (with kids) or living with their man ( baby daddy). With marriage comes many benefits for both man and women as well as any children involved. It really has nothing to do with white people except for the comparison value. But if you wanted to compare blacks to any other race I'm sure we're last in this category as well.
In America, black marriage may be on the decline but America is not the only place black people live. And everything is on the decline in America except crime and poverty, lol. The issue here for American black women shouldn't be about what race she chooses to date or if she chooses to get married but just to simply have enough respect for herself and her community to not get pregnant without having a family and support. And I personally will have to respectfully disagree that it has nothing to do with white people when white people are in the title of the book. The book is called, "Is Marriage for White People?" White people have nothing to do with this issue, which is sort of what you're saying, but in that respect, I think it should have never made it to the title. Obviously I'm not black so my view is from the outside looking in but I'm supposing lack of black AMERICAN marriage is mostly due to "the cycle" of being born into a fatherless situation and emulating what your mother does. I just really didn't like how the author had lumped all black women into one category of being American and how he used the white people as a model for what was right and what should happen, y'know? I get that there are not many black women becoming married but I genuinely think it's based on two things – one being "the cycle" and the other being the new era of media and "feminism" and objectification of black women, glorification of negativity, etc in mainstream black media. People (all Americans) tend to be so badly brainwashed by TV that they can't see anything else. IDK, just my opinion not meant to offend anyone.
I agree with your post. I believe the author is trying to use shock value in his title otherwise nobody will buy his book. lol. But even though phrased wrong it is a good question I've been asking myself for years about black marriage being on the decline. I don't understand how just having kids is more important than getting married and having a family. Its not a guarantee but it takes a lot more work to get married and it appears most aren't interested in putting in the work with someone they supposedly love. It seems as if so many of our people have either been brain washed as you stated or are just followers of the easiest route in life. Which in turns helps multiply the problems in our communities. Having said that, I find too many of our people are selfish and don't really care about the issues in our community. Its all about them but cry later when they are and their children are negatively affected by the same problems they contribute too.
Ignorant title. Ignorant people on the panel. Next!
yes , you should know!
And, I also know that your comment is ignorant! My race does not determine whether or not I will ever be in a successful marriage.
My issue is that the problem is not with black men dating outside of the race….but black women always being taken to task for doing the same. he's not saying that you cant marry black men, but not to limit yourself to only black men. there are plenty of other men of other races that you could build a stable relationship with
Yes there are quite a few happily married black couples out there, but that doesnt mean that their example is your only chance at happiness.
I think the idea is that white people are the dominant group in America and usually the dominant culture sets the blueprint of what life is in a community.In America you grow up you attend elementary school,middle school and then you graduate high school and you probably go off to college with your high school sweetheart.After graduation you guys marry,have children and get the house with the white picket fence.I think that was some of what the aurthor may have been comparing that to,the American white ideal of the way life should be for people who live in America.But, amongst blacks in America that tends to not be our reality.Im not saying its like that for all whites im talking about the ideal of what some think life should be.Whites in America plan to get married they down right expect it,I .where black women are concerned you can plan to get married but its a big possibility you may not. I know some black women who arent in relationships not because they dont want to but our black men dont seem to want to be in relationship with us.
Gosh! That last line is on-point and powerful. That is the truth my friends (who are not mothers, by the way) and I live with everyday. We are open to dating outside of Black men but that looks a tad slim, as well, since we are not approached as much or not as accepted by other men. We remain open, though, to love and moving forward,
OMG really!!! ARE WE BACK ON THIS TOPIC AGAIN THIS WEEK!!!
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